「 found it on 12:30 AM 」

I need some management with my pride issue...

zzz..

 

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「 found it on 3:35 PM 」

Random post

Wa yesterday was whacked...

Emotions kinda went a little down then up up, till it went a little too high... LOL..

Was late for prayer meet again la.. I dun wanna elaborate why, becoz it will sounds like a good reason, but it doesn't stick for a frequent criminal like me... ROFL..

Got inside with Azri... felt a little blank a while, had no idea was was going on, then i realize that people were sharing their dirty little secrets...

Azri was kinda high.... dunno wad the hell is with him... LOL....

I find it pretty hard to pray la... Was so remourseful about being late... LOL.... guilty *feeling*....

I wasn't really sure if i could hit the number 2 for end September also... I really wish i can man... My GOD, is a God of miracles man.... I jus pray for myself to give 100% to this goal, dun wanna give a damn about the number, jus do my best and pray lotsa lot.

During the DMM, something, guess the Holy Spirt?(cute little guy) Told me that... DOOOD.... U need to change some of your habits man... And U need to get more spiritual food!!! I think I am trying to do that... Thank God for SUE to intro me to some cool sermon Podcast... gonna drown myself in there... Think i'm gonna needa formulate an action plan to change myself.... period...
Then they also talked about the community service thingy, to play with the kids... Man I am super hyped about the event... I dun imagine myself being a father, I dun think i have the patience to think about "MY CHILD'S FUTURE" yet. But I like to play with kids for a certain period of time... LOL...

Saw Cindy, remembered about her B'day gift? But was too focused on my race(PSP-Initial D), my butt got glued to the chair, leg cramp, hands tied to the PSP... can't move... K... LATA....

Service start... Went up... I was looking around to see if she's around so that I can pass the gift to her.. When i found her... I was already beging shoved up the stairs.. Oh well...

When i realized the guy that's gonan preach today is Michael, I gotta admit, I wasn't very very happy, or impressed... Was expecting myself to nod off... But!!!! I DIDN'T! woohooo!! He tot some pretty simple, but hard to do stuff... Letting go of our comfort zone!!! God kinda gave me a vision a picture when I was thinking through his speech.. Very often people jus often grab hold to this pillar so much, even as christians we jus grab hold to the pillar/bolster even if it has a big SIN written on it.... Becoz we're so happy with it, we dun wanna release it, reminds me of a child that love his dirty bolster so much, he is unwilling to let his parents take it for washing, even for just a day... Have u met kids like that? How much coaxing it will take before they release it... Or some of them jus neva release it till a year plus lata when they realize "Oh holy crap, it smells like doo doo"

My prayer was that God will help me out as I pry my hand off some of the evil in me, complacency, procrestination, pride... and other doo that i tried so hard to protect... (Humans are certainly the most IRONIC species of mammals on earth)

Service end... I was thinking, hmm.. should i walk over.. or jus stay here? I was like.. Den azri was like... Jus go la, I am hungry... K lo... walk over...

LOL... den afterwards is was jus High..

Went to eat with Germaine's friend... A contact that sticked around with our group.. wasn't particularly surprised that Robin gave special attention to that little dude... Didn't really like his guts la... But... overall, guess he's pretty alright.. Didn't talk to him much also..

Realize that RUSTY was missing! dun really know wad's up with him, wasn't quite impressed with that move he made la... But hope he's fine lo...

During meal time, I was jus high with Azri... Imagine yourself putting Russel Peters and Dave Chappelle together.. The only thing is... this time.. Russel peter is the skinny tall one... and Dave is the little more meaty one... LOL...

Went to carrfour, saw Germaine, then i realize, oh God damn... u look pretty shitty... Guess the words i said drove her a little nuts.. And little brave boy stepped up to protect her lo... I was like... heh? wad's up? Didn't know i made such an impact on her... Felt bad afterwards... LOL... (lesson learned)

Yada yada.. As time pass, we found a new comrade on crack... Wei Xiong... Was kinda worried that he follow us, then won't have enough time to study... But he assured me and said is ok.. I jus left as it is.. (Was i doing it right?)

We visited 3 arcades... Oh yea, forgot to mention we had a member on part-time with us, was mervyn... He followed us to visit 2 arcades, den finally left when we wanted to eat Tau Huey, den as we were walking to the 3rd arcade the selegie one... Was surprised to see Xue Ting at the bus stop... Stayed and chat with her till her bus came... Den we move on to the arcade... WX and Azri were super obsessed with House of the Dead.. but they keep dying anyway.. .LOL... I was jus eager in setting a new record on the initial D machine.. but realized the steering wheel is a little screwy... LOL... 2:51!! I WAS SO CLOSE!!! Their record was 2:48!!! 3 seconds!!! ARGH!!!

Walked to lavander jus to take NR7.... den they all crashed at my place... As was AZRI likes to say... "we are jus high on crack la" So.. ignore us.. LOL

-gone

 

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About time i start to update my links and stuff.... LOL...

I gotta admit, I've been really neglecting my blog... Links not up la and I'm startin to get bored of the skin man... LOL.....

Welp.... Let's see wad a IT-idiot like me can do... Hope i dun screw up that page, then the next thing u guys will see is a blank page on www.free-expression.co.nr ... LOL...

 

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「 found it on 2:08 AM 」

I'm not very happy with the fact that my manager didn't put me down to work on Monday and Tuesday, and also I AM SO SO SO not happy that i haven't got my pay, while others have already gotten their pay, and prolly finished spending it.

But.... Today is a pretty good day...

Nothing much happened during the day time, jus noe i slept till like 12plus? almost 1pm? Becoz my body was too exhausted over the run... But thank God, didn't wake up with aches or anything, jus woke up with a cold, and a ulcer...(That's still not good...) LOL...

Den lepak lepak, read abit of Harry Potter... Den leave for BLM excursion... At first i was quite reluctant to go, since Wei Siang was late, and I find it hard to go to a place where i dunno anybody.... So i slack abit at home, but afta that mustered my (courage? Balls?) erm.. and jus leave my house... Den i realize Xiao Ying was also there... YAY!!!

Was a lil worried i'll be too late, so rush a cab down from Bedok.... Pretty EX... SOb.... SOb....

But I told myself, sicne i paid 12 bucks for the cab, I might as well get my 12bucks worth of knowledge.....

When i arrive there, haven't started... After snacking abit, when the thing actually started.... Nothing big or anything, jus a simple tour around a skin care business... Den the boss made a little speech...At the beginning, i couldn't really catch much... But subsequently I realize I was learning alot, her partner/employee took over to talk about the slightly more complicated marketing stuff... Dat was i started to feel a little like... BRAIN WAVE OVERLOAD!!!

There were like so many traditional methods and ideas, and some new ones that I heard before, but always tot it was useless, den I realize how those olden principles are becoming more popular in the new world....

Hahahz... Really did learn alot, Thank God I recorded some of those things i learned on my HP... Now to gather my thoughts!

-Gone

 

The End?

「 found it on 2:42 AM 」

Wanna dedicate sometime to blogging...

Can't say I had the coolest day today... But I think i learned a lesson or 2...

Went to work as waiter with Ear-Shot for a fine-dining lunch banquet... Realized that actually, fine-dining is a race against time eating... Dun spend too much time talking during fine-dining, the waiter will jus take your plates away...

After getting screwed a few times becoz of my noobienest, I wasn't feeling all good la... But got a hang... Still, didn't really find the job fun, becoz my back hurts after squatting and standing and squatting and standing, and it doesn't feel good to actually serve people that actually ignores and dun appreciate u... LOL...
Den My pay check... COMPLICATED ISSUE!!! Need to photocopy my passbook, etc etc. Photocopy IC... wa lao eh... Angry.... Work so hard, come early do sai kang, now still need to do complicated stuff to just get paid $35... Diao..

After a super miserable ride back to Esplanade, tot like "YAY, finally, come back to the Cafe, that's the place where i can perform.."

Upon arrival, I saw a rather deadly combination Eddie and Felix... But i tot, ya, they should be pretty alright with me la... So no worries.. So came in, Felix ask about my work, I whine to him abit... Den I told him how hungry i was.... Tot HE WAS NICE TO MAKE WAFFLES FOR ME! no is for customer.. Sian... NVM lo... i make myself.

In the midst of making the waffle, custoemr order drink, Eddie called me, so i was like.. Diao.. can't u see i am making lunch? I dun wanna overcook my waffle... But i like.. aiya senior mah, respect... Walk over lo... "Do white choc" I wasn't sure how it was done... Eddie went off with his sarcastic shit again, den compare me with other people... Den yabba somemore... His sarcasm are the nagging ones... I dunno how he do it... But i tell u... It drove me nuts..

I was hungry, and tired, but enthusiatic about work.. U need to understand I will snap.... Especially when u start to go out of point... And start to get sarcastic....
I argued back... Den we jus went on... Till dunno when.. The manager went out, and came back.... I had no idea wad the hell is his problem.... I dun think he remembers wad he was saying, and he claims he's not angry, not argueing... But he can't even remb how the whole thing started, jus bite on the fact he's right... Terrific idea to take a 10 mins break, make me eat my cold waffles and come back for 2nd round... I mean like come on, u're scaring away the custoemrs!

K lo... U win lo... Somemore still go and announce to everybody what I did, then argue back at me so loud, scare customer... Knowing that this is dead lock... I jus kept quiet lo.... Somemore still come and action use vulgarity at me sia.... Sir u only noe the 4 letter that dipicts sex in a violent manner.. I can say sex violently in 4 different languages man... And I have a 5 second record of vulgar rap... dood... U really dunno wad u dealing with la...

But.. I guess we both are in the wrong la... Becoz if either one was right... we should be capable of shutting the other guy up rather quickly... We'll jus continue to roll till somebody decides to stop... it's Amazing to see wad a 18 yr old, and a 23yr old can do. Guess we weren't very matured afterall..

I gave thought about the whole arguement afterwards as I was waiting for Ben and his friend to come to city... I felt rather miserable.. I thought at first that I was most affected by his insults and sarcasam, but i realized afterwards thanks to Ben's help that i was most concerned with his "announcing to everybody about my mistakes" act.... I think that is wad drove me nuts... Den i was like "DUDE! Why are u still so insercure man? Why u care so much about wad others thing?

Have to thank God for my shepherd, and long time friend.. Ben... He reminded me of this quote by John C Maxwell "If you take care of you character, your reputation will take care of itself"

I am so glad that this came to me... It's gonan be pretty tough to overcome the insercure factor, but i'm sure if perfect myself in the cafe, and keep myself right... I should be alright..

So come on God! Watch over me... It wasn't such a pleasant experience, but i guess i learned alot, oh it to u dear Omega Dad.




Oh my bio dad is back.. LOL

Go say Hi to him den sleep liao

-Gone-


PS: This work experience really proves Pastor Jeff's point when he says "Your boss will not pray or write you encouragement cards...." hahahaz...

Also, MY IQ is not low ok! LOL.... I was jus kidding about it... ^_^

 

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「 found it on 3:48 AM 」

My covenant, with God...

I mus change..

 

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Efforts are not meant to be seen, they're meant to be bricks to build a better character.

A brick doesn't worth much to society, but a skyscrapepr is always an awe to it.


If i dun show it, doesn't mean it doesn't hurt...

I am not use to it, and people may not know..

I unconciously lie about it, but after that when i think about it... I am really desiring wad I am denying..

I need to destress... Just becoz my life seems carefree, doesn't mean I lead an easy life..

But I dun deserve any of those... I need to keep pushing through... I dun need other's praise nor sympathy... I can handle myself easily and well..



-Gone.

 

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「 found it on 6:59 AM 」

Woohoooo..

Going for man's conference soon....

It's starting to rain la... WTF..

I pray that my school module switch will work out.... Please pelase work out...

I dun feel exactly too sleepy... in fact pretty energy

Lord... take away all the axiety...

Ok... Perhaps dun take away the axiety... I might fall asleep without it.. LOL


K la... go bathe den go out liao

 

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「 found it on 11:57 PM 」

People who know Jeremy(NS)... Let us pray for his family that he can tide through a tight financial situation.. They are having some trouble now, let us pray for him and his family that God may be with them through every moment and circumstance, and they can tide through this problem without much bumps...

-many thanks

 

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Thank God.

I guess Nick was right... God didn't make the days terrible for us, he won't make things too hard for us till we cannot handle... And if we realize that this is jus another day we have to get pass victoriously(and we really shouldn't be thinking, God will make tomorrow better).. Tomorrow really does get better..

I had a hard day at work.. My work is stressful.. but tiring.. I mean this first 3 hours... I think i cut more than 100 strawberries, mopped the floor, clean up dirt... Etc. Etc. After 3 hrs... den i had time to make a cup of Mocha for myself... I tot... Well.... The least all the things neccessary for shop open is done...

Customers came in... And for some weird reason, I think is becoz I choose to put all the grumble in my mind to the back of my head, and out of my butt(ok not literally)... I had a great time serving customers... And I guess, they felt pretty satisfied with wad NOOB little me can do...

I took orders, take reservatios... The only thing i still can't do is make waffles, truffles etc.(anything that is food)... I can only make drinks... But i think is pretty cool already.... I think all the "ang mohs" were pretty glad at our efficiency... Even though there was a setback, since the bananas were far from ripe... I initiated(note that i'm a noob, and was mentored by 2 seniors) that we dun use the bananas, give strawberries instead... I explained to the customer etc, and made the point that we should clear up the older stuff, before we use the new ones... I think my seniors are all pretty impressed with me la.. (even though i did screw up by spilling half a tub of mopping water during the 3 hrs preperation, and also did stupid robotic stuff..) I think i manage to earn myself back...

Also... Jus now... (it's the motivation for me to blog, dispite the fact tat i am tired, and feel like puking) My mum came in and apologise to me(actually i think is pretty insulting for a senior to apologise to a junior)..... Confused? Actually me and my mum had a little tiff... I didn't know why she was so angry(was suspecting PMS), and she railed at me when i told her about the problem i had with my skooling.. Say i spend too much money etc. wasting it... Etc... I was feeling super delirious la.... Then i jus leave for choir....Sian.... Then i wake up in the morn... Kenna railed by my granny.. say I use handphone bill till 70 bucks... I was like ?!?!!? How?!?! I tot i did the pass down method for messaging already? did i call too much?????? She scold me till i got pissed and woke up from bed.... Then i realize.... CHEY LA!!! 70 is the total amount (me+my sis). The fixed cost is 29 before GST, after GST around 30+? I only exceeded by 10dollars plus... Reasonable la.... I was like "WHEW"...

But i was really praying... and telling God in the back of my mind.. God.. come on.. I am already trusting u alot.. do this miracle for me..

Then afta coming back from SQ birthday celebration.... I feel ZONK as HELL

I guess that's why God made the gastric feeling in my tummy, so that i will make noodle instead of go to sleep.. den my mum pop up in the kitchen and say "sorry boy, I was a little fustrated yesterday"


Thank You my dear ol' God...




-Gone


PS: Happy Birthday SUE!!!! U are a year older.... But dun be too anxious in drinking... will spoil liver.... (We can lepak at club liao!! MUAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAZ.... Ok shhhh... ^_^)

 

The End?

「 found it on 1:05 AM 」

Lord I thank you for answering my cry so quickly... Blessing me with $100... I am still 300 short... Lord continue to bless me..

And i thank you for blessing with a wonderful working Senior... He called and was concerned about my work today..

I was a lil fustrated about the whole work today... Endless streams of customers, and I didn't even get to drink my chowder till the shop closed... So my chowder basically was a load of cold custard with clam... I felt super fucked... Like i was being exploited..

I felt super no-moral on my bus ride home..

Who knew the guy would call me, and say something like "Your have already helped us alot, thanks."

WAH!!!

It has to be you la... Like samuel say "Maybe la, but I choose to believe in God, don't doubt"

hahahaz...

-Gone

 

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OH GOD!!!!

Somehow I feel like Job... I wanna cry out to to you...

I thought everything was smooth and well, you bless me with good people, that helped me through one crisis...

But God, I dun blame you, but I wish to ask... Why have you placed yet another challenge in front of me? This time is double the trouble... The odds are agaisnt me, and they are like e

But thank YOU for reminding me about Job before I let my mind start to point the blame at you. I realize that you place every challenge for a reason, and I wanna tell you I am up for it.

Thanks for putting me in such a situation.. I will come out triumph..



^_^

 

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「 found it on 2:58 AM 」

I feel very strongly about this.

I wanna repledge/acknowledge/ Jesus as my lord and savior, To do my best to walk right with him.

I wanna re-dedicate myself to the best I can to do his work..

Come on God... this is my prayer... Help me out..

Help me out with the areas unpleasing to your eyes...


-Amen

 

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「 found it on 3:42 AM 」

Really thank everybody for helping out to pay my fees, the birthday though not a really big ra ra one, is a really memorable one..

Wheat cream and stuff... Is whacked...

I still can't bear to break the glass bottle... damn..


thank all of you

(sorry i took so long to post this note of gratitude)

 

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