「 found it on 3:13 AM 」

24th March 07 3:13am

I must find a way to make myself sleep somehow.... LOL!!

I recently got caught in a suddenly respawned DOTA crazed..... Apparently I suck la...... I am always the guy who get's first blooded* (that means i get hacked, not the other way round). and sometimes i can get owned so ridiculously, makes me not much of a difference creeps, except, i am a creep that's worth 200 gold... LOL...

I DOTAed for quite a while, owned the computer AI la..... (kiddish yes i know).... My brain must be jacked with kiddish adrenaline rushes, coz my body seems a lil far from exhausted, or like "i am ready to sleep" kinda emotions....

Actually...... Not.......

The shitty nostalgia's back.... And it's really irritating especially when u just finished a day... And at night, when u thought u can just close your eyes, and drop dead in 3 seconds... This emotions comes flying to u, and hit u left and right till u feel so messed up. It's just a temporal kinda thing, and maybe also becoz I'm partially melancholic, so i tend to enjoy moment of day dream and reminsce, and get a little worked up and emo for no apparent reason.... (wa starting to sound like some psycho kid)

Wow, i got 2 big pimples on my nose bridge... it's seriously screwing up my image...

I was chosen to backup sing for the camp... It's quite a honorable task, coz a few 100 people will be looking at me sing, and waiting for me to usher them into God's presscence... I really love that kinda limelight.... But during the 2 practices.... I feel GAY as SHIT..... I didn't feel in place with the Church's wammers... They were a bunch of talented people. Like Ben, Nel, Joycelen, felicia, kelvin...

WAHA!!!!

And base on my personality, i will feel very out of place when my standard and their standards are like leagues apart...
I tried to fit in that kinda thing... I tried to act like i'm fine.. Try to add a little lubricant to my own extrenal image so that i might slide and fit in... But it seems like i'm the wrong nut for the screw.....
Maybe i'm a little too over-sensitive, or prideful, or errr... I dunno... hahaz... But it's not the people's fault, truth is, they were tryin hard to not let me feel awkward.... But I just kinda get all TINGLE LINGLE LING and shit...

ha....

Zzzz... Feelings still here... what should i do.... Maybe i go read the word.... But i should do something about it... Maybe what my mind seeks is a proper closure... Or maybe the devil might be tempting me... But stilll it looks like a good deal...

*SLAP

.........


Oh yea, i just remembered.... Stats exam.... My module exams are coming to me like creeps and 1 bane elemental rushing to me, when i'm just a cute little level 1 meepo.... Zzzzz...... Lord... HELP ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Ok...


-GONEZ-


*Prayer:

Lord, I pray that u bestow me focus and strength to give my utmost to you in the games and in the Praise and worship parts that i'll be in for the Camp... Lord u up hold everybody in the camp commitee and everybody in church that through this camp we can grow together, and move closer to our 2007 Goal... Lord U grant me wisdom to handle my on-coming exams, and my cocked up emotions... lord in all this i pray... In jesus name............................
Amen

 

The End?